Teasing Customers (or: Seriously Misguided Marketing)

I have mentioned before that Carlsberg seems to have been beaten at their own game here in Kuala Lumpur, and that it has become next to impossible to find Carlsberg in Changkat Bukit Bintang.  Sure there is a restaurant or two that still have Carlsberg and perhaps a nightclub too (I don't really frequent noisy places these days), but every single bar on the street is strictly Tiger only.

That is why, when I saw these cuties last night, I was pretty damn convinced they were Heineken Promotion girls:

I was pretty surprised when I realised (not obviously from the pic) that these girls were in fact Carlsberg promotion girls (the signs they were carrying around said "Carlsberg" on them). WTF!!!  What is the bloody point of that when I am stuck with a dreadful Tiger with absolutely zero option for getting Carlsberg on tap?

The girls were trying hard to be cheerful, dancing around, but I actually felt pretty sad about the whole show sipping away on an awful Tiger.  What I mean is - what is the point of throwing money away on this kind of marketing, when it is next to impossible to buy their products in a regular pub (places I consider regular pubs on Changkat Bukit Bintang includes for example: Gypsy, Finnegans, Healy Mac, Green Man and Ceylon Bar)?

Carlsberg need to wake up and fight back.  I am sure this is all about pricing at the end of the day, but if that is the thing, then Carlsberg will need to lower their prices and get the bar owners back on their side!  WAKE UP CARLSBERG and show some bloody Viking spirit!

Auto Electronic Herbal Steamer Double-Boiler

Dunno how I managed to go through life without one of these:

Whoever came up with that name (or the lady's hairdo for that matter) need to have his head examined.

Hardest Quiz Question Ever

Walking down to the Monday quiz night at Healy Mac's I came across this ad for the Kuala Lumpur Hop-on, Hop-off bus service:



The question is how on earth do they find 40 major attractions in KL? I'd be very hard pressed to come up with 10.

Broken Something

From the news:



I'd say, the guy's leg is not the only thing severely broken.

Sick Game

Am I the only one who think this is pretty fucking sick:



Obviously the idiot on the picture didn't get it quite right.  He obviously didn't fracture his hip in order to get the proper angle on the leg.

If that is a fun fair game then I think I could come come up with a long list of other fun games they could play.  They could for example play drug addicts, share the needle and see who would catch HIV first.  Or how about a quick game of massive traffic accident - see who can shed the most blood and still survive - barely.  Finish off with the hilarious Malaysian favorite of baby dumping (dump baby from 5th floor and see how high they bounce) and all is set for a fun day at the fun fair.

GO AWAY!

I can't quite make up my mind what I think about Johnny Walker's latest advertising at my regular pub (Gypsy in Changkat Bukit Bintang):

They might as well tell their customers to go away :)

"Missing" Tourist Attraction

Just came across this post card in one of the countless convenience stores (none of which are very convenient) along Tingkat Tong Shin:



The amusing thing is that it depicts the old Penang Hill Railway funicular train. The problem is - that railway is no more since the tourism ministry decided to modernise it (as I wrote back in February).  When in some distant future it reopens it will be some modern aircon'ed high speed monstrosity that will have absolutely zero attraction left for any tourists.

Flying High Falling Hard (review: Pinchos Tapas Bar, Changkat Bukit Bintang)

I have written before about Pinchos Tapas Bar in Changkat Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur and since I "discovered" the place some months back I have grown quite fond of the place.

I first entered the place because they were one of the few places left that still serve Carlsberg beer and I really am fed up with Tiger draft.  While having my Carlsberg I gave their tapas a shot and they were really quite good - not to say absolutely excellent.

Yesterday a friend of mine were having her birthday, so I invited her out and I thought tapas was pretty cozy.  Unfortunately on this occasion it would appear that none of the "bosses" were around, so everything - service and quality - had gone to hell quite literally.

It was a Wednesday evening and the place was fairly busy but not as busy as the other times I've been there (there were free tables - the other times I have been there I had to sit at the bar).

We ordered 6 different items from the tapas list and a bottle of wine.  When they brought the wine I asked for some ice water and the waiter informed me they did not serve ice water but only bottled water.

To me this is just mind boggling stupid.  The other times I have visited Pinchos I have ordered beer, but if I am ordering a bottle of wine I want water with it and paying 12 Ringgit for half a liter of water just pisses me off.  The tap water in Malaysia taste like shit, but at home I have a water cooler and I pay 8 Ringgit for 5 gallons of fine drinking water.

After a considerable time the food finally arrived and boy was I in for a surprise.  I am not sure what went wrong in the kitchen on this particular night, but while the tapas have been truly great on my other visits, this time it was pretty close to uneatable.  Everything was oily as hell and it would appear the kitchen had run out of everything that even resembled spices or herbs.  The garlic chicken was some tasteless tiny chunks of chicken breast in a watery/oily substance without any taste what so ever.  The albondigas (meatballs) which are normally served with a nice tomato/onion/garlic sauce this evening was litterally served - well - in oil (or rather probably whatever fat ran out of them when they were cooked).  The worst by FAR was the dates and bacon.  On that particular plate was 6 black - and I do mean black - pieces of something.  And it tasted - well you guessed it - like charcoal.  They were completely burned.

When I pointed this out to the waiter she immediately switched into the typical Malaysian apology mode and started rattling off excuses (they were busy she said - sorry - no they were not more busy than all the other times I have been there).  I pointed out - politely - that she had a number of options:

1. She could leave things asis - in which case I would leave as a really angry customer
2. She could bring a replacement for the charcoal
3. She could throw out the charcoal and make sure it did NOT appear on the bill

After some thinking she decided to replace the dish and brought back a new one - slightly less burned (but still quite badly burned) - with 3 pieces.  WTF!!!!  It's true that there was only 3 pieces left on the dish she returned, BUT that's because me and my guest had already had 3 pieces of charcoal.  The point was that I find it uneatable and I only knew that after I tasted it.  At the end of the day I paid full price for 3 pieces of char coal and 3 pieces of something very very close to char coal.

All in all the evening was a disaster - and a quite expensive one as well.  I guess all restaurants have bad days and as such fuck-ups can happen to the best of us.  That is perfectly understandable.  What is NOT understandable is letting the customer pay for your fuck-ups.  Years back I had a rather disastrous dinner at a Danish restaurant and once I pointed out to the owner that the food that evening was rubbish she returned with a bill containing the bottle of wine and nothing else - with the remark: at this place customers do not pay for bad food!  Now - THAT is the right attitude - admit if things goes wrong and try to compensate your customers, but do NOT let the customer pay normal price for sub-standard food and service.  But apparently at Pinchos they are quite OK letting their customers pay for bad food.

As a conclusion Pinchos have lost one customer - what they did at this particular evening was charging a lot for utter rubbish.  Cheat me once - shame on you - cheat me twice - shame on me.  It's not that there are no alternatives, so expect to see a review of some other tapas place here shortly (possible after Werner have stopped using the sidewalk as his private car park).

Update Oct. 12, 2010

After I wrote this I posted a link to this blog entry on Pinchos Facebook group.  After all it was only fair that the management got a chance to comment on it.  Unfortunately I just discovered that the link I posted have been deleted with no mention at all.  This send a strong signal about Pinchos attitude towards their customers and their own sense of quality.  A restaurant that tries to hide a bad review instead of actually being grateful that the problems are pointed out to them is a place to avoid at all cost.  I must admit that I seriously misjudged this place when I initially found it quite agreeable.  I suppose if you got a gambling gene you might still appreciate the place, - order your food - it might be great or it might be rubbish - but either way you will be charged the same.  Kind of like a casino or a lottery ticket really.

Update Oct. 18, 2010

One thing that rarely fails in Kuala Lumpur is the pattern or lifespan of bars and restaurants.  They open up slowly at which times some of them are truly excellent.  If they ever take off big time and become popular the price increases and the quality drops like a rock and 12 month later they are history.  I have lived in KL for around 12 years by now and I can't count the number of times I have seen this exact pattern and I will never be able to understand why.  Owners of bars and restaurants are pleased when people spread a good word around, but they seem to forget that bad words spread even faster and that they might lose customers for the very same reason they originally got them.

Yes, I am harsh in my reviews but not without reason.  I have zero problems paying for good service and excellent food, but I have a serious problem and zero tolerance with places that choke in their own popularity and arrogantly start taking their customer appreciation for granted.

I don't know if Pinchos is traveling down this same path.  What I do know is that most of the times I have been there it has been really excellent.  However, as I wrote the last time I was there it was absolutely an awful experience and well - if you read the comments by the owner himself, you will see that exact arrogance that I am talking about.  As if I am supposed to understand why they can have a bad day - but on a bad day like that I have to pay the same price that I will pay on a good day and be happy they will let me spend my money there.  Personally I think it's the owner who should show appreciation for the fact that they did have a bad day and make sure that remained their problem - not mine.

Well, as he writes, he's got a busy restaurant to run, for now at least...

(the owners comment was written on a Monday afternoon, so let's just include a picture of Pinchos taken just a few hours later - Monday evening around 8pm)

300 Million Ringgit Badge?

Proton just launched their new "Inspira":



Make no mistake - this is a rebadged Mitsubishi Lancer and the fact that they use a Mitsubishi rather than some own design is probably not a bad thing. What is interesting however is that they spend 300 million Ringgit doing it. Come again???? 300 million on rebadging a Mitsubishi Lancer? What on earth did they spend 300 million on? I can only assume they spend most of it figuring out how to make the plastic trim pieces fall apart after a few weeks.

Taxi Meters (or not)

Just saw this helpful sign right outside Pavilion (on Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur):

This might be a new scheme they have come up with to cheat tourists.  A metered taxi stand where customers actually get charged for waiting - while they will have to wait for a long long time, since that taxi stand is completely empty at all times.  Instead the taxis are lined up right next to the sign - with NO intention of using meter:

Killing Citizens and Tourists

Yesterday I wrote about the moronic bar and restaurant owners in Changkat Bukit Bintang that block the sidewalk so that their potential customers have to walk on the street at great risk.

Apparently it's not only the bar and restaurant owners, the City Hall is doing their best too.  Here's a picture of the traffic light right in the center of the city (intersection between Jalan Bukit Bintang and Jalan Sultan Ismail):

The colour is not obvious from my cam phone, but seriously - that IS red AND green at the same time.

It's definitely not a safe place to be a pedestrian.

Killing Your Customers

Changkat Bukit Bintang in Kuala Lumpur has become increasingly busy over the past couple of years. As the street get more bars, clubs and restaurants, traffic is also picking up badly.

Unfortunately it would appear that most people find it impossible to walk a few hundred meters, but instead have to park right outside whatever venue they have decided to visit. As a result of this, and the valet parking attendants, it has become popular to park along one side of the street, leaving even less room for cars and pedestrians.

To top this of, some of the owners of the various venues seem to think that the sidewalk belong exclusively to them and their customers. Walking along the street at night it is obvious that some owners show more consideration to the general public than others. I have for example never seen The Magnificent Fish & Chips, Green Man or Yoko's block the sidewalk.

The worst owner by far would appear to be Werner (who unfortunately also by far operates the most venues). He seem to think that the sidewalk outside El cerdo is his private car park (so it should be renamed to "El aparcamiento"):



Walking past his place is always downright dangerous, because in order to pass, one will have to walk on the already extremely crowded street where cars try to squeeze past each other.

I really don't understand this attitude. Is pleasing two or three lazy fucks really so important for Werner that is quite OK risking the life and limbs of every other potential customer. It can be no surprise for readers of this blog, that I have a serious dislike of any food and beverage outlet who piss on their customers, but pissing on potential customers seem even more far fetched. In this case I am fortunately able to predict their attitude without ever spending a single Ringgit at his place. I have never visited any of Werner's places and until he learn to show more consideration for potential customers I most definitely will not.

Werner is by far the worst. He is however not alone. Frangi Pani is also pretty bad even though they are one of the few places that actually have space to park a few cars without blocking the sidewalk.

Lately it has become increasingly popular to put tables and chairs on the sidewalk in the evening. In general this is a pretty good idea, as it is quite nice to sit outside in the evening when the temperature goes down. Unfortunately since cars are parked on the street making it so narrow that two cars have a hard time passing each other, and while this is so, putting chairs and tables on the sidewalk only serves to make it an extremely dangerous exercise to walk through the street at night.

I can only appeal to the owners of the venues in Changkat Bukit Bintang to show a little more consideration for the people who are after all their potential customers, and appeal to the "crowd" to remind the owners (by avoiding the inconsiderate places) if they are too thick to work it out by themselves.

New Menu

From the new menu at my local pub:



Sorry, I don't think I want any Fries with my Chips.

Fishy Malaysian Service (review: Sushi King, Low Yat Plaza)

One concept I kind of like is the Japanese "assembly line" style sushi places.  It is quick and quite tasty - even if it usually end up a tad expensive.

In Malaysia there used to be 2-3 different chains operating this kind of places, but I think the only one remaining is Sushi King.  According to their web-site, Sushi King is a Malaysian concept, so it is apparently not part of any international franchise (unfortunately - but I'll get back to that).

Today I decided to grab a quick bite in the early afternoon, and I entered the Low Yat Plaza outlet of Sushi King.

When I entered the place I was in for a bit of a surprise.  Half the shop was absolutely completely packed and the second half was absolutely 100 % empty.  I really don't like rubbing shoulders with strangers while eating, so I naturally headed for the empty part, but I was told that it was all reserved (let me repeat - this is important - I WAS TOLD it was all reserved!).  Anyway - my response was the same it would always be - something along the line of: I want to sit there (pointing at one of the empty tables) or you can ask me to leave in which case I will take my business elsewhere.  Obviously not having the nerve to tell me to leave, the waiter just let me sit down - and then promptly ignored me for the remainder of my visit.

Fortunately - with the exception of drinks - the brilliant thing about this assembly line concept is that waiters are not really all that important - so I quickly grabbed some sushi.  At this point I got somewhat curious what the hell was going on at the place.  The setup didn't change - I was sitting absolutely alone in one half of the shop - while people were practically piled on top of each other in the other half.  While I was sitting there about 12 people entered the shop - only to stop at the "section closed" sign and then leave the shop again (obviously having more respect for that sign than I did - or Malaysians usually don't like to "break the law" in public - they only do it if they can do it secretly).

At this point my curiosity got the better of me and I decided to ask the supervisor about this somewhat curious approach to "crowd control".  I managed to flag down a waiter (none ever stopped and asked if we wanted any drinks - let me repeat - NONE ever did that!) and asked to talk to the supervisor.  A few minutes later a guy - with A MASK covering his face and with a sign saying: "Trainee" -  approached me from the preparation side of the assembly line and asked what he could help me with.  I informed him that I asked to talk to the supervisor - not with a trainee wearing a mask, and he responded that he was the trainee supervisor.  Ah well - I asked him about why half the shop was closed (the half I was sitting in) while the other half was so packed people actually left without buying anything.  His response was that they were understaffed so they couldn't handle it.  If there is one thing I can't stand it is being lied to by anyone who get their salary partly from my money, so at this point in time I just decided to leave.

While trying to flag down a waiter to pay my bill, the trainee supervisor approached me again (this time minus the mask) and said the supervisor just arrived so if I wanted to talk to her he could fetch her.  I responded that: "yes sure - if the supervisor wanted to hear what I had to say - she was welcome to come over."  The trainee supervisor then walked over to a lady in the opposite part of the shop - but this lady made NO attempt to approach me at any time, even though it took me some 5-10 minutes settling my bill (so safe to conclude that she was NOT interested in what I had to say).

I also noticed that the sign saying "section closed" mysteriously was moved away when the supervisor returned (the above picture show the sign having been moved to the side but the section still empty while the rest of the shop is packed) - so my guess is that the staff just couldn't be bothered while the supervisor was not present or the supervisor realised that her laziness might actually backfire.

No matter how often I see it I simply don't get why anybody would piss on their customers like this.  Within a very short time frame I was lied to and ignored and I most certainly didn't leave with a feeling that Sushi King appreciated my business in any way whatsoever.

I find it unbelievable that the supervisor or manager couldn't even be bothered to listen to a reasonable customer complaint.  I think however that said supervisor MIGHT have forgotten that her name was prominently displayed behind the counter:

  

So there you have it Sitty Noor!  While you were on duty, customers - who may I remind you are the ones ultimately paying your salary - were lied to and ignored in the most pathetic way. You are a shitty manager and I sincerely hope you will be kicked back to mopping floors once the owners read this blog.  And if you ever read this and get upset, do not forget that you had the opportunity to listen to my complaint while I was there - you just couldn't be bothered.

As for Sushi King I have definitely spend my money there for the last time ever and I am quite sure that the 12 people who were turned away while I was there might feel the same way.  As always on my blog, the option of leaving a comment is open - so should you feel like explaining yourself, by all means do so.

Update Sep. 27, 4:15pm

I decided to give Ms. Yang a call to see if she had any comments.  I'll update later if she decide to get back to me.

Update Sep. 28, 12:08pm

Still no update from Sushi King.  Meanwhile this page is yanking up hits quite quickly - people reading the page without any explanation from Sushi King - but obviously no great sense of urgency at their side.

Quite interestingly I noticed on Google Analytics that the most popular search query is: "sushi king low yat plaza complaint".

Update Sep. 28, 21:43

Well - reply from Sushi King - and here on the blog no less (which even if I sound slightly sarcastic - I do appreciate).  I will leave it to the readers of this blog to judge if this is good enough for them, but personally I think it's just too little too late and there's no way it's going to convince me to spend any more money in Sushi King ever again.

Scary Food Handling - Big Fat Warning (review: Secret Recipe, Bikit Bintang)

One franchise that is scattered everywhere around Kuala Lumpur is Secret Recipe. I have written about their bizarre lack of quality control before, but since they are everywhere and they often are the only ones serving anything different than all the mamak stores (local Malaysian/Indian street food), I occasionally forget how bad they are and give them another shot.

I have got to learn not to give them a chance because each time I get surprised just how bad it is.

This time I ordered a Lamb Pie. About 15 minutes went by, before the waiter came back asking me - I stress: ASKING me - if I wanted to change my order because: "The lamb pie is not fresh". I got a number of problems with this. First of all, what was the pie doing in their kitchen in the first place if it was no longer fresh. Don't they have any system in place, or do they just keep it until it becomes obvious that it's no longer well. Second, how did they discover this? Did they cook it and then got overwhelmed by the stench or did they discover green stuff growing on it. Thirdly why ASK. Did they hope I would actually enjoy a non-fresh pie and still accept it?

I decided not to try the lamb pie and instead went for the Shepherd's Pie. This one obviously passed their rigorous inspection and was served after another 15 minutes. They do not get points for visual presentation though:

It would be hard to make anything less visually appealing. A tiny bit of greenery (the kind you put next to a dish - not the kind that grow on the foul smelling ones) or a tomato would go a loooong way.

Eating about one third through, I hit solid ice - ice - not gold. Once more - how on earth is this possible. You make a Pie of a certain size and freeze it. Defrosting and heating it up will require the same amount of time in the microwave each and every time. There are absolutely no variables, so if they get it wrong it's because they never bothered to figure out how to get it right - or the staff just throw it in there until they get some kind of smell - if good serve customer - if bad ask customer if they want replacement.  Something like this:




While waiting for their third attempt, a supply truck was arriving and parking right next to where I was sitting:



For the next half an hour it was belching out diesel fumes creating an unbelievable stench. If you drive a truck and you bring food to a restaurant with dining guests at LEAST have the courtesy to switch off the engine.

I admit I must be slightly stupid going there again, but perhaps I just can't imagine just how bad it really is. I can only urge - stay away from these places. Their food is mostly rubbish but even worse, their food handling is suspicious and it might very well kill you one day.

Last but not least, the previous time I wrote about Secret Recipe, I send a link to their marketing department asking for their comments.  I never received a reply.  This time I will do the same.  I will send a link to this blog and urge them to leave an explanation.  My guess is they will show the same enthusiasm as they do on their quality control.

Comment added July 31 2010:

It's been a week now and a few things are becoming obvious:

1. A lot of the "fans" from Facebook have been checking and reading this link (data from Google Analytics)

2. This page has begun to show up on Google search (also data from Google Analytics)

3. Someone has started emailing links to this article around (referrals from hotmail, yahoo and gmail according to Google Analytics)

I am by no means and expert in how to run a profitable franchise business, but I do think that if I was responsible for these cock-ups I would at least try to explain it as a single mistake.  I reckon the reason they don't is that they really truly don't care.  It is obvious that a high level of quality is not high on the agenda.  Please do keep that in mind if you ever consider actually eating any of their products.  And if you get violently sick you had been warned.

And I have been asked a couple of times which branch I was writing about.  The experienced described above was from the Bukit Bintang branch and it was actually written on my mobile phone and posted on the spot while I was still there.

Update Aug. 3, 2010

It took them a while to respond, but today Secret Recipe actually did respond on their facebook page.  Message read:

Secret Recipe Malaysia Sorry for late response, you message has been noticed and under investigation. thanks!

 Ah well, I reckon that's probably as far as it will go and I am really not sure what they need to investigate - except if they are checking with their lawyers how much liability they've got if one of their customers get violently sick.

Update Aug. 7, 2010

As predicted no comments or explanations whatsoever, except from: "your message has been noticed".  So - my messages has been noticed and then silently ignored in the hope that it will go away.  But that's the thing with the Internet - it doesn't go away - and this page keeps getting hits and popping up in Google searches.

Update Sep. 28, 2010

I never quite get what makes Google rate some pages higher than others, but this post generates far more Google hits than any other post I have ever written.  I think it's the food handling part.  So I guess it's time to add that after almost 2 month they must still be investigating because they most certainly have not returned any other comment than that.

Malaysian "Service"

I have written before about the fact that "service" is a completely unknown concept in the Malaysian service industry.  The weird thing is that even when Malaysian companies try to copy American franchise concepts they always - without exception - forget the level of service.  I am not a great fan of American franchise concepts but one thing they do have in common (apart from the food mostly being utter rubbish) is a high level of service and even when these franchises operates in Malaysia, they mostly do try to bring a reasonable service level with them (they don't always get it right - but they mostly try).

One of the local copies are a cafe style franchise called Dome (at least I think that's Malaysian).  Coffee is just as good as places like Starbucks or Coffee Bean and the food even a little bit better (not that that is hard) - but the service?????  I don't even know where to begin.

A few days ago I was waiting for a friend at Dome's KLCC (Kuala Lumpur City Centre) outlet.  When I arrived I guess about 2/3 of the tables were occupied.  I know that it is a local custom but I normally can't bring myself to yell at a waiter - so I would normally just wait until either being serviced or being pissed enough to leave.  In this case it took 20 - I am not joking - 20 minutes until a waiter paid any attention to me.  And when he approached it was not to pick up my order but to inform me that the table was reserved.  WTF?  Reserved???  At this time all the other tables were occupied except one that was squeezed in tightly between other tables.  When I complained the waiter directed my attention to a sign on the table "clearly stating" that the table was reserved:

Yes that's right - that's how the "sign" looked and well - if one bothered to unfold the paper it did indeed say "reserved" handwritten on the backside.

One thing I have learned in Malaysia is never ever to discuss with waiters - first of all they are not really responsible and second - they mostly couldn't care less and quite often get rude if one complain, so I asked to talk to the manager or supervisor on duty.  I waited another 15 minutes or so - during which time I reminded the waiter about 2-3 times that I would like to talk to the manager or supervisor - but he or she whoever it was - was clearly not interested in listening to me.

After 15 minutes I just decided to leave.  It is not as if there are no other choices.  Chinoz has got pretty OK service.  So - all in all I spend about 35 minutes waiting and at NO point did anyone bring me a menu or asked me if I wanted to anything.

It is amazing that a place like that can survive pissing on their customers that badly.

Upstairs Neighbours from Hell

Imagine having these people as upstairs neighbours:

Let's take a closer look at this in case you didn't notice:

It would appear that the upstairs neighbours have decided it's easier just to throw the garbage out the window, rather than actually bring it down for proper disposal.

I took this photograph in the center of Kuala Lumpur - sitting at Coffee Bean just opposite - thinking that whoever live there belong in a freaking Zoo - not int he center of a big city.

How do they do that?

Another good one from the Malaysian newspapers this time evolving around sperm samples:



This one made me wonder - how exactly would they take such a sample if they had indeed done so. I mean I am fairly convinced that I would not be able to deliver one under such circumstances - and I am faily certain that if I didn't want to give them a "shot" I would be able to hold back.

Tourist Boost

Joke of the day from Malaysian newspapers:



They actually argue that dressing up kick boxers in islamic dress will boost tourism. Sigh!

Rubbish on Bukit Bintang (review: First Cup Cafe, Bukit Bintang)

I have written before about Secret Recipe on Bukit Bintang (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia), and I suppose we should all be grateful for the fact they keep their recipes secret. This time however, it's a place right across the street that get the hammer - called First Cup Cafe.

First Cup Cafe is one of those places that attempt to rip off an American franchise concept but does so in a way that is even more "discount". While places like Starbucks and Coffee Bean isn't exactly culinary experiences you end up dreaming about at night, the food at these local rip of places are usually completely uneatable - if not downright dangerous.



In this particular case I decided on a sandwich.

A sandwich is after all pretty hard to fuck up completely. And yet they managed to do just that. Not so much the sandwich itself, which while definitely not good wasn't absolutely disgusting too. But in their wisdom they was serving it with a cold (and I mean straight from the fridge - they hadn't even tried to heat it) half (thank God for that) baked potato. Not only is a baked potato pretty darn bad when cold, but to tip it over the edge into the truly horrible it was covered in a substance which I can only assume was meant to resemble mayonnaise. Let me repeat that - cold baked potato covered in some mayo stuff out of a jar.

Seriously - how a shop serving that can be allowed on the most important shopping street of KL is beyond me and how they can have any customers whatsoever even more so.

Open Letter to Scott Davis (Chairman and CEO of UPS)

Dear Mr. Davis,

It was with great interest that I read your speech: "Why Companies Fail.  How Companies Win", posted on the UPS web-site.  In this speech you focus a lot on the current financial crisis as a cause of problems, but later in the speech you also quote Alan Wurtzel, the former CEO of Circuit City saying:

"At some point along the way, we were too focused on making a profit short-term... rather than building value for customers long-term."

The reason I write this letter is that I just had the misfortune of being a customer of UPS and I can assure you that not a single person I dealt with in UPS was focused the least bit on building value for their customers.  In your speech you focus on the current financial crisis, but you do seem to overlook the importance of providing a service that is actually attractive to your customers (or maybe I am misguided and this really doesn't matter at all - which would be a very very sad thing).  I don't know if you are aware of this, but a search on Google for "UPS sucks" return around one million hits.  That is 9-10 times more than a search for "DHL sucks"  and nearly 5 times more than a search for "FedEX sucks".  Some of this is obviously caused by the fact that UPS is larger than DHL and FedEX, but still - it should be a concern for you.

Before I go into the sad details of my experience with UPS, I would like to point out two things.  First of all I am fully aware that when one move several million parcels around daily - mistakes are going to be made.  That is perfectly natural and I doubt anybody would ever complain about that, provided that they felt that your customer service was actually trying to fix the problems.  Second, I am not particularly offended by the fact that my parcel got delayed.  I am however deeply offended by the way this has been handled by a number of UPS employees and because of that I would like to explain to you the experience I had as an UPS customer.

I have attached a complete log of my experience as a UPS customer (a work in progress - I still have not received my parcel).

And to answer the question you yourself asked in your speech.  I think any company who let their customer service agents leave a customer hanging on a phone queue for 20 minutes after going home deserve to fail.

Regards

Lars Bøgild Thomsen

UPS Customer Service - the horror story
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This represents the exact list of events I experienced when ordering a computer gadget online (sorry about the image of a sloth to the right - it was just the first thing that came into my mind).

1.  2010-04-15 (Thu)

I order a computer gadget online.

2. 2010-04-16 (Fri)

The vendor has identified the fact that I currently live in Malaysia and handed the case over to their Singapore office.  I receive an email from their Singapore office with a quote including shipping.

3. 2010-04-16 (Fri)

I accept the quote after office hours so obviously nothing is going to happen until Monday.

4. 2010-04-19 (Mon)

Email confirming my order and mentioning that it will be shipped Tuesday.

5. 2010-04-20 (Tue)

I receive an email with a UPS tracking number.

At this time I went online on UPS web-site to check the status and at the same time I went through the feature that can calculate the time it will take.  This is the result:

In other words, since this was shipped to my private address, I decided to work from home on Wednesday (somewhat naive you might say - but in my world a guarantee is a guarantee).

6. 2010-04-20 2:16 UPS Tracker Update

Billing Information Received

7. 2010-04-20 17:01 UPS Tracker Update

Singapore Collection Scan

8. 2010-04-20 20:17 UPS Tracker Update

Origin Scan

9. 2010-04-20 21:47 UPS Tracker Update

Changi Departure Scan

10. 2010-04-21 3:41 UPS Tracker Update

Shenzhen Departure Scan

11. 2010-04-21 7:15 UPS Tracker Update

Sepang Arrival Scan

12. 2010-04-21

In other words - the parcel arrived and was scanned at the airport at 7:15 in the morning, so I still at this point expected to receive my parcel at the guaranteed time - in other words before the end of the day.  Nothing happened though - no updates on the tracker the whole day.

13. 2010-04-22 2:58 UPS Tracker Update

Shipment pending release from clearance agency

At this time the status changed to "exception" which indicates that this was not really expected.

At this time I should point out that it is really not to be expected.  Computer equipment of any kind carries no import duty or other taxes in Malaysia and each time I have ordered anything online using DHL or FedEX it has gone straight through without delay.

As mentioned earlier I am fully aware that this could be Malaysian customs creating the problem.  My complaint is not the delay but the treatment I received later from the customer service staff.

I expected a call from UPS explaining the situation but heard nothing the entire day.

14. 2010-04-22 Morning before lunch - first call to UPS

Since I had not heard anything from UPS I decide to speed things up by calling customer service myself.  I forgot to note the name of the person I spoke to but she promised to investigate what happened and she promised to get someone from the airport to call me.

15. 2010-04-22 Afternoon - email to shipper in Singapore

Wrote an email to the shipper in Singapore to ensure that they did in fact include my mobile number.  They wrote back half an hour later:

"UPS Malaysia will call you abt this shipment if they need further assistance."

16. 2010-04-22 17:00 second call to UPS - spoke to "Dila"

I explained the situation to her and explained that I was somewhat upset that nobody had called me from the airport as promised during the earlier call.  Dila promised me that she would mark the case as "urgent".  I requested to talk to her manager, who she identified as "Padmini", but she explained that Padmini "was not available".

17. 2010-04-23 11:30 third call to UPS - spoke to "Ani"

By this time I was getting somewhat tired of idle promises, so I decided to see if I could push through to her manager.  She identified the manager in charge as Miss Elaine - but explained that Miss Elaine was not in the office.  She did however promise personally to call the airport and check what was going on and she guaranteed again that I would receive a call "within 10 minutes".

18. 2010-04-23 14:00 forth call to UPS - spoke to "Farah"

This time I made it absolutely clear that I am perfectly able to read the tracking status by myself and my only concern was idle promises.  I insisted on speaking to Farah's manager.  She explained that Miss Elaine was on a 2 day conference so she was not available.

By this time I was starting to get a feeling that it simply was the manager that refused to talk to me, so I insisted.  At the end Farah transferred me - straight into Pat's voicemail.

19. 2010-04-23 14:10 fifth call to UPS - spoke to "Jacklyn" (spelling?)

Asked to be connected to Farah (who transferred me to voicemail).  I immediately got transferred to another voicemail account getting the message: "the person on extension 6026 does not subscribe to this service".  Then I got back to the start queue.

Finally got through to Jacklyn - who - promised to call back herself.

20. 2010-04-23 17:55 sixth call to UPS - spoke to "Chandra"

This one really beats them all.  Chandra asked for my tracking number, I gave it to her and she said: I need to read the case so I'll put you on hold.  I was on hold for 25 minutes before I hung up.  I know the office close at 18:00, so I can only assume Chandra decided it was time to go home and leave me on hold until the morning.

21. 2010-04-24 6:20 UPS Tracker Update

Now, why on earth didn't they do this two days before instead of Saturday where they have no deliveries.

22. 2010-04-24 8:53 first ever call FROM UPS - spoke to Kasturi

As I sort of expected, malaysian customs did not know what a PVR is, so Kasturi needed an explanation.  She also informed me that there's no deliveries on Saturday nor could I pick it up myself - so no possible delivery until Monday.

When pushed for a delivery today she was "very sorry" but she did say it was impossible to deliver on Saturday.  Reminds me of Avis slogan "We try harder".  I explained several times to Avis in the past, that I really couldn't care less how hard they try - what I care about is how they do.

The most interesting part was that she was pretty keen on giving me her phone number and inform me: "absolutely no need to call the head quarter any longer".  Guess someone in the head quarter did get tired of me.  Perhaps Chandra that left me hanging on hold.

Anyway - better give Chandra a call, after all I have been on hold since yesterday evening.

23. 2010-04-24 10:50 call to UPS - spoke to Ani (again - same girl as earlier)

Informed her that I was still on hold after Chandra left me the day before.  This time she actually insisted on talking to "senior level" - came back after a few minutes and promised me that Miss Manjeet would call me back by 11:15.  We'll see if that is going to happen.

24. 2010-04-24 11:10 call from Miss Manjeet (surprise!)

Ok - would appear that I finally after two days have caught their attention.  Explained the "half an hour on hold" situation and Miss Manjeet was: "speechless" (well - I guarantee that I am not and contrary to UPS guarantees my guarantees are exactly that).  She promised to investigate and get back later today.

25. 2010-04-24 11:54 call from Miss Manjeet

Informed me that she would try to get the parcel and deliver it personally later "today".  Personally I think the girl who left me on hold for half an hour should be doing that - but then again that's just me and I am sure she's busy enjoying her weekend (which started while I was waiting for her to get back to me).

26. 2010-04-24 12:00 - 13:00 Multiple Calls from Miss Manjeet and Kasturi

Around 12:00 I got a called that the item was cleared through customs, but there would be a tax of 75 Ringgit.  In other words - they declared this as a video recorder rather than what it is - a USB device.  Kasturi asked me to send an email with an image (no they do not have Internet connection as their system was "under maintenance") and I was urged to send it quickly since she was off at 13:00 (and I know what that means - they leave sharply come hell or high waters - or customers on hold).  I send an email from my mobile phone (since I was out for lunch at this hour) with an image showing this clearly but obviously I was too late.  Or rather - NO - I was not too late - UPS was too late.  If they had called me Wednesday there would not have been any issue.

Anyway - I just want my parcel right now.  Guess I am down 75 Ringgit due to UPS incompetence and I am fairly sure I will never ever get reimbursed that amount or indeed any of the shipping cost.  Best lesson learned - next time - use competent shipping agent.  If ONLY they bothered to give me a call earlier this would have been smooth sailing.

27. 2010-04-24 17:00 Personal Delivery by Ms Manjeet

Finally I managed to get my parcel.  Had to pay 77 Ringgit for customs.

First, let me give credit where credit is due.  Ms. Manjeet is so far the only person I have dealt with at UPS that was not full of idle promises and idle apologies.  I can't take it when people just automatically apologize on behalf of someone else.  If you fuck up - apologize - if someone else fuck up - do the best you can do to fix the situation and that is it.  And that is exactly what Ms. Manjeet did - just friendly professionalism all the way.

While this explains why Ms. Manjeet is a manager at UPS it does not in any way excuse the endless list of fuck-ups by every single other UPS staff I have been in touch with.  My parcel was 3 days delayed AND it cost me 77 Ringgit in customs - which I shouldn't have paid - only because of UPS incompetence and utter neglect.

I believe UPS owe me the following:

1. A full refund of all shipping cost - as per their own promises.  The parcel was late BEFORE it got delayed in customs.  I could suspect that they deliberately fucked up customs so that they could use that excuse.

2. A full refund of the customs fees.  If UPS had done their job I would not have had that expense.

3. A personal - face to face - apology from every single person who have lied to me (and that is basically every single person I have talked to at UPS except from the manager that delivered the parcel).  I will NOT accept a blanket apology "on behalf of someone else".

4. A written explanation from UPS management explaining HOW a customer can be left on hold for 25 minutes (would have been until next morning) while a customer service agent is checking a tracking status and what exactly has been the consequence for said service agent.

A final note is that it is completely incomprehensible that UPS at the airport does not have Internet access.  A simple Google search would have shown the true nature of the product I had purchased and that it was indeed not taxable in Malaysia.

28. 2010-04-25 Email from Ms. Manjeet

Received an email from Ms. Manjeet that she will look into my "claims" and while she can't promise any result she will get back to me.

To be continued (perhaps - we'll see - perhaps UPS is quite content leaving this asis).......

Update May. 2, 2010

Received the following email from Ms. Manjeet:

Dear Mr Lars:

Good day!

As promised, I got approval from our import team and we will refund duty taxes billed to your goodself.
It is already being processed and I will keep you updated.

As for the staff mentioned below, we have an internal process on disciplinary action to be taken & this will be followed.


Thanks,
Regards
Manjeet K Gill
CRG Team Lead
CSC SG/MY

Update July 12, 2010

Send email reminder to Ms. Manjeet since I still hadn't received the promised refund.

Update Sep. 1, 2010

UPS obviously never reacted on my reminder.

Meanwhile I received a parcel send by FedED - same kind of product.  Here's how it's done:

That's it - it didn't take them more than a few hours to get it through customs clearance.  THAT is how it's done - not the bloody amateurish approach by UPS.

Malaysian Marketing (or: Fucked in Broad Daylight)

I just experienced another brilliant example of Malaysian marketing.

I was having lunch at Leo's Cafe (Plaza OUG) - a place i was visiting quite regularly when I stayed in OUG - when I noticed this sticker on the table:



At the time I didn't think much about it, but when I received my receipt I did notice that it was in no way itemized. Here's the receipt next to the sticker:



At this point I was thinking, well, these guys obviously are trying to run an honest business and what the hell, RM 200 will get me quite a nice lunch, so I decided to call the first number on the sticker. Surprise surprise, I got an incredible rude and grumpy Chinese guy on the line who informed me that if I wanted an itemized receipt I could just ask for it and the sticker was "a printing error" - and then he hung up on me.  He might as well have told me to fuck off really.

What is the point of the sticker if I still have to ask. It's mad, it's wasting my time and needless to say that the result is exactly the opposite than intended - Leo's Cafe have lost a customer for good rather than gaining customers.  What I really don't get is - why go through the trouble of printing those stickers when they are not going to honor their promise.  Why ask their customers to help if that help is not appreciated?  It is completely and utterly insane.

I can only encourage everybody to avoid places that piss that badly on their customers.  Don't go there!

Update Aug 2010

I finally had enough waiting for their response.  Originally I called all the numbers and send a link to this blog to the gmail address.  Now I called the 03 number again (spoke to a Mr. Khoo) and made it clear for them if they did NOT live up to their promise, I would file a complaint to the Ministry of Domestic Trade (link here).  I just discovered that they have an online filing system, so if I don't get a response today I will file an official complaint - then we'll see.

I can add that the stickers as of yesterday was STILL on the tables in Leo's Cafe OUG.

I believe this falls under section 10 in the Consumer Protection Act of 1999 - regarding False or Misleading Representation or section 14 which deals with Gift, Prices and Free Offers with no intention of providing it.

Update #2

I just got a call from a Ms. Carnie - who asked for my address and promised to send the 200 ringgit meal voucher immediately.  Will be interesting to see if that actually happens.

Update Aug. 17

Ah well - that call would seem to have gone to "let's see if we can ignore it to death" mode.  I still haven't received a voucher.  Guess I will just have to fill out that online form.  That is TWO times that company has lied to me.  Cheat me once - shame on you - cheat me twice - shame on me.

I wrote an SMS to Ms. Carnie:

I still haven't received any voucher - so I assume I should go ahead with the complaint to the Ministry of Domestic Trade.

To which I immediately received the following response:

Mr. Thomsen, as the voucher need my admin to process and wil send by post by this week.  Once posted wil be email the post laju reciept to u. Thanks for the remind.

Update Aug. 31

Well - reminder or not - still nothing - so I'll move ahead with the complaint.

Porn and Baby Dumping in Malaysia

Just found this in the local news:



472 babies dumped since 2005 - that is close to 100 a year!!!

I'd say that this number will continue to go up as long as people are coming up with moronic excuses such as blaming porn. Most (if not all) European countries have free and unlimited access to porn, and most European countries are significantly larger than Malaysia and yet I doubt that any European countries have this many incidents of baby dumping (in fact - do a Google search for "baby dumping in UK" and most of the search results will be about this problem in Malaysia, Nigeria and Zimbabwe - does a trend emerge here?).

So perhaps the reason is in fact NOT porn. Perhaps the reason is exactly the opposite. Perhaps the reason is an oppressive society that does not allow their youngsters to develop a healthy and relaxed attitude to sexuality. Perhaps the reason is that 17 year old girls who get pregnant have no access to abortion and no support or help from society so they are forced to give birth in secret.  Perhaps the reason is lack of proper education.

Fact - whether Malaysia like it or not - is that pornography can NOT be blamed for the high number of baby dumpings or indeed the high number of rapes (that is often mentioned too).  I am not going to argue if pornography is good taste or not, only that countries with free access to porn - being European or Asian (Japan) has got significantly lower rates  of rape and baby dumping.

Malaysian Customer Service

I went into a convenience store in Jalan Alor last night quite late.  There was no customers and only one Chinese guy in there - who was in the process of filling out some paperwork.

I was standing there right in front of him for at least half a minute without him paying any attention whatsoever.  THEN he looked up and said: "Can you close the door".  WTF!  My answer was: "No fucking way, but I CAN take my business to one of the other 200 convenience stores in the area.

Unfair Review (or: Twenty-One mk. II)

Bach in April I wrote a review of Twenty-One in Changkat Bukit Bintang. The thing is though, that I might have been a little bit too harsh in that review.

My original review was written on the spot as and when it happened and I was fairly annoyed at the time. I still don't like to be cheated and I felt cheated at the time. However, their somewhat peculiar and annoying pricing scheme aside, it is actually a nice place and their lunch deal is at the moment the best in the area bar none.

The price (and indeed the whole menu - hint: I's time for an update) is the same as it was back in April. The cheapest item is Fish & Chips which they offer for RM 8.00 - including a drink (ice lemon tea or a soft drink).  They got an excellent Chicken Sandwich with Pesto for RM 9.00, some good pasta dishes around 10.00 - 12.00 and so on. The service is excellent and all the waiters are attentive and quick.

So all in all - best lunch deal in the Changkat Bukit Bintang area - but be careful with "extras" :)

Update Aug. 12, 2010:

Currently there's some construction going on across the road and it gets unbearably noisy there.  However, the construction workers have their lunch break from 12:00 - 13:00 (that's 1pm for those who can't count longer than 12) so go early :)  Also I spoke to one of the owners who said that the menu will be updated shortly but he promised me not to touch the Pesto Chicken Sandwich.

Why Nokia Will Die

Back in the old days I used to be a big fan of Ericsson phones.  They were not the most sexy to look at but they were solid and the sound and call quality was unsurpassed by anything.  Unfortunately "sexy" sell better than quality - so eventually Ericsson died and had to work with Sony to introduce "sexy" to their product line.  That was the end of the line for me - I absolutely hate Sony with a vengeance (since I bought a bloody expensive Vaio with world wide service only to find myself in Denmark with a broken charger and Sony Denmark refusing to have anything to do with it).  So after Ericsson died I pretty much switched to Nokia and with one exception I have always been reasonably happy with the hardware quality of Nokia products (and before you ask - the exception was the N73 with that silly joystick that broke off all the time).

While their hardware is still reasonable, software is quite a different ball game.  Symbian S40 (the operating system they use in their low end devices) might have been quite adequate and easy to use, but S60 (the OS they use in just about every high end device minus the N900) is quite simply silly compared to everything else - even Windows Mobile or whatever Microsoft call it these days - they change name more often than I change my underwear.

About 1 1/2 years ago I bought a Nokia 5800XM, which compared to the previous N73 was nice.  The software however has gone from horrible (the first version) to almost there (2-3 versions back) to totally broken (the last two versions).  For the first year or so - up until the 50.xxx.xx release, my 5800 was hanging randomly - typically when ending a call.  The whole phone would just freeze.  That problem was finally - after what must have been 4-5 updates before that - fixed in the 50.xxx.xx release.

While the 50.xxx.xx release fixed the random freezes, that release introduced two new bugs.  First of all the battery life went to hell.  Before this release I could charge my Nokia and it would run about 2-3 days (checking email every hour).  With the 50.xxx.xx release that went down to about 24 hours (and NO - I have checked with another battery - it IS a firmware problem!).  Also the OVI store stopped working and haven't worked since.

Now - at word about the OVI store.  Compared to Apple's iTunes and Android's - ahem - is it called Market Place, Nokia's OVI store is basic to say the least and while they do have a few goodies in there, most of the available software is quite useless.  But it is all they've got and if Nokia want to be a player in the high end smart phone market - they have GOT to make it work.

Starting OVI since the 50.xxx.xx firmware release, I have been met with the following screen:

The odd thing is that a a general update of the phone reports NO updates available.  This is the case both when trying the built-in update application or when connecting to a PC and checking the software there.  But OK - if OVI want to update - let it update, so I click update.  It finds an "update" and start the installer:

At this point it downloads the update file:

Which I confirm that I want to install.  The device now discovers that there is already an old version of Ovi Store installed and ask if I want to upgrade:

Excuse me - they are asking me if I want to REPLACE version 1.07(12) with - ahem - version 1.07(12).  Well, I have tried to Cancel which result in the same thing all over again, so I got no option but to choose OK and go on.

The installation itself seems to be in two parts - first it starts installing and that seems to go OK:

Then at this point it seems to start a second installation of something (no - it doesn't inform me what it is) and that always ends with the following:

And now it all starts over again.  If I enter the OVI Store application it insist that it needs an update, and ...............

Today, about an hour ago, I discovered that there was a new complete firmware update for my Nokia 5800.  I updated immediately and it went smooth.  The device now reports:

However - while this version is supposed to include a complete update of all the OVI applications, it's still the same.  In fact - since I already updated - all the above screen shots are made with this new version.

Now, Nokia have sold millions of the 5800 (in fact I believe it's their most popular device ever) and I am NOT the only one with this problem.  A Google search on "nokia 5800 ovi store update error" result in thousands of hits - many of those are directly on Nokia's support forum.  I haven't read a single reply from Nokia staff and I have not seen a single suggestion on how to fix this problem.  So, me and thousands of other Nokia 5800 users are unable to use the Ovi Store and Nokia does not seem to be interested in solving the problem at all.

Getting Better and Better

The ongoing sodomy farce is getting better and better.

Apparently the court does not think that an affair between the prosecutor and the key witness has got any relevance whatsoever - and it is indeed (according to this article) a private affair.  Ahem - excuse me - but isn't this whole case actually about a private affair then?

The article ends quoting Karpal Singh (Anwar's defense lawyer): "Never before in this country has such an application to strike out a charge on the basis of an affair between the prosecutor and a star witness been filed".  No - you can say that again - in fact - I don't think that is common in any country, but then again - the case itself is quite unique too :)

Brussels Beer Cafe

I have noticed lately that a number of Belgian bars/restaurants/cafes have started opening in Kuala Lumpur and I have quite often wondered why.

I AM European and as all Europeans I have some fairly rigid and inflexible ideas about the different countries.  The Italians might be kind of rude, but they make great food and they are a friendly bunch, the French are arrogant but it's a beautiful country and the wine and food is awesome, the Brits are always polite but not overly friendly and they couldn't cook to save their own lives, the Germs might be a bit boring but they serve a mean sausage and boy they do know how to drink beer and put together a solid car - and so on (and of course these ideas are wrong as often as they are right).

The thing is - when I think of Belgium I come up with - well - blank more or less.  Sure I heard they claim to have invited the potato chips and Tintin was from Belgium.  But to me Belgium has always just been a country I drove through on my way to France, enjoying the fact that all their highways are lid up like a Christmas tree.

My only real experience with Belgian beer was back in the late 80's where there was a beer strike in Denmark and all the Danish brands were unavailable.  That summer we drank a lot of German and Belgian beer - and they were all utterly rubbish.  I remember a brand called TV and we used to joke that they managed to make a beer that was thinner than water.

So as you can imagine I really don't understand why these places are here in the first place, but well - passing one around dinner time I figured I was in dire need of some PORK, so I decided to give the place a shot.

The place is right next to a very busy road so it's quite noisy.  They have however made some attempts to make it nice even though it doesn't quite mask the noise from the road.



My first problem was the beer.  I am really not into German beer and Belgian beer even less, but they did have Tetley's Ale on the menu and I couldn't really ask for a soft drink in a place like that, so I ordered half a pint of that.  This was the result:



I swear, this is how it was served, and I am sorry guys but that is truly offensive in a place that evolves around serving beer.  First of all I am sure that glass does not contain half a pint even if filled to the brim, it is probably a Malaysian half pint which relates the pint as Malaysian inches to the inch (read: much much smaller).  I asked 3 waiters if they were serious calling that half a pint and they all said: Yes!  Brussels Cafe's own website say on the front page: "Ich will beer" which they translate (since they obviously assume their customers are morons - and why German in the first place - less than 1 % of the Belgian population speak German as a first language) to: "I want beer" and that is exactly how I felt - "Ik wil bier" or "Je veux de la bière" not an empty glass (oh and apologies to Dutch, French or indeed Belgian readers if I got one or both of these wrong but I don't market myself as a Belgian cafe).

The food offerings were reasonable.  I ordered a foot long (Malaysian foot I am sure) sausage with chips (had to have chips in a Belgian restaurant) which was served without mayonnaise (I had to ask) and it was OK without being something I would dream about (I guess the Germs are just better as sausages).  My partner in crime ordered Brussels Chicken & Stoemp and that really was quite good.

Needless to say I gulped down the tiny Tetley's quite quickly and ordered a "bottled Tuborg" to follow (at least they can't cheat with the size of bottled beer).  After a long time the waiter arrived with two new Tetley's and I had to explain to him I said: "Tuborg" not "Two more" (I even said: "Bottled Tuborg" when I ordered).  Unfortunately I think the waiter had taken offense at me, so the bottled Tuborg didn't arrive until I was done eating.  I asked for a glass and that simply never arrived - until I went to fetch it myself.

On their website they write:

"In Brussels Beer Café, our staffs play the important piece. We can have the best food and promotions but without the right staff to make it all happen, it unravels pretty quickly. The staff at Brussels, with their genuine personality, it makes dining fun and delightful!"

I couldn't agree with you more.  Without the right staff it unravels extremely fast - and this evening the staff was slow and not paying attention at all.

By the time we got the bill, here is what that looked like:



Excuse me - 50 cent for a glass of tap water.  Fuck you too!  That is simply not acceptable. I checked their menu (which had never been cleared off the table) - and well yes - it was there:



I just wish I had seen this before I ordered my meal.  You just KNOW you're in trouble when they charge for plain water and put it in the menu.

To sum this up I reckon the food was the best part, not fantastic but reasonable.  But the service and concept was utter rubbish.  Once again let me quote their website as saying:

"And finally, the last part of the picture is the guest. Whether they stop in for a quiet pint, some lunch, or to gather with friends for a crazy fun night, it is the loyal Brussels’ customer that contributes most of the magic to the Belgium pub.The goal of Brussels Beer Café and its staff is to strive to bring you the best that Belgian culture has to offer, without you having to look for your passport. With great food, many tantalizing choices of beer, a relax ambience and excellent service; will bring you back again and again."

I am sorry to say you got it all mangled up.  Even if the service had been excellent (which it wasn't) and the ambiAnce had been relaxED (which it wasn't - the waiters most certainly was doing their best to create a relaxed ambiance - extremely relaxed) I wouldn't come back.  I wouldn't come back because you market yourselves as someone who's heart and soul is beer and then you have the bloody nerve to sell me a quarter of a pint of Tetley's and you are so stingy that you charge your customers money for tap water.  THAT is why I won't come back!