Malaysian Marketing (or: Fucked in Broad Daylight)

I just experienced another brilliant example of Malaysian marketing.

I was having lunch at Leo's Cafe (Plaza OUG) - a place i was visiting quite regularly when I stayed in OUG - when I noticed this sticker on the table:



At the time I didn't think much about it, but when I received my receipt I did notice that it was in no way itemized. Here's the receipt next to the sticker:



At this point I was thinking, well, these guys obviously are trying to run an honest business and what the hell, RM 200 will get me quite a nice lunch, so I decided to call the first number on the sticker. Surprise surprise, I got an incredible rude and grumpy Chinese guy on the line who informed me that if I wanted an itemized receipt I could just ask for it and the sticker was "a printing error" - and then he hung up on me.  He might as well have told me to fuck off really.

What is the point of the sticker if I still have to ask. It's mad, it's wasting my time and needless to say that the result is exactly the opposite than intended - Leo's Cafe have lost a customer for good rather than gaining customers.  What I really don't get is - why go through the trouble of printing those stickers when they are not going to honor their promise.  Why ask their customers to help if that help is not appreciated?  It is completely and utterly insane.

I can only encourage everybody to avoid places that piss that badly on their customers.  Don't go there!

Update Aug 2010

I finally had enough waiting for their response.  Originally I called all the numbers and send a link to this blog to the gmail address.  Now I called the 03 number again (spoke to a Mr. Khoo) and made it clear for them if they did NOT live up to their promise, I would file a complaint to the Ministry of Domestic Trade (link here).  I just discovered that they have an online filing system, so if I don't get a response today I will file an official complaint - then we'll see.

I can add that the stickers as of yesterday was STILL on the tables in Leo's Cafe OUG.

I believe this falls under section 10 in the Consumer Protection Act of 1999 - regarding False or Misleading Representation or section 14 which deals with Gift, Prices and Free Offers with no intention of providing it.

Update #2

I just got a call from a Ms. Carnie - who asked for my address and promised to send the 200 ringgit meal voucher immediately.  Will be interesting to see if that actually happens.

Update Aug. 17

Ah well - that call would seem to have gone to "let's see if we can ignore it to death" mode.  I still haven't received a voucher.  Guess I will just have to fill out that online form.  That is TWO times that company has lied to me.  Cheat me once - shame on you - cheat me twice - shame on me.

I wrote an SMS to Ms. Carnie:

I still haven't received any voucher - so I assume I should go ahead with the complaint to the Ministry of Domestic Trade.

To which I immediately received the following response:

Mr. Thomsen, as the voucher need my admin to process and wil send by post by this week.  Once posted wil be email the post laju reciept to u. Thanks for the remind.

Update Aug. 31

Well - reminder or not - still nothing - so I'll move ahead with the complaint.

Porn and Baby Dumping in Malaysia

Just found this in the local news:



472 babies dumped since 2005 - that is close to 100 a year!!!

I'd say that this number will continue to go up as long as people are coming up with moronic excuses such as blaming porn. Most (if not all) European countries have free and unlimited access to porn, and most European countries are significantly larger than Malaysia and yet I doubt that any European countries have this many incidents of baby dumping (in fact - do a Google search for "baby dumping in UK" and most of the search results will be about this problem in Malaysia, Nigeria and Zimbabwe - does a trend emerge here?).

So perhaps the reason is in fact NOT porn. Perhaps the reason is exactly the opposite. Perhaps the reason is an oppressive society that does not allow their youngsters to develop a healthy and relaxed attitude to sexuality. Perhaps the reason is that 17 year old girls who get pregnant have no access to abortion and no support or help from society so they are forced to give birth in secret.  Perhaps the reason is lack of proper education.

Fact - whether Malaysia like it or not - is that pornography can NOT be blamed for the high number of baby dumpings or indeed the high number of rapes (that is often mentioned too).  I am not going to argue if pornography is good taste or not, only that countries with free access to porn - being European or Asian (Japan) has got significantly lower rates  of rape and baby dumping.

Malaysian Customer Service

I went into a convenience store in Jalan Alor last night quite late.  There was no customers and only one Chinese guy in there - who was in the process of filling out some paperwork.

I was standing there right in front of him for at least half a minute without him paying any attention whatsoever.  THEN he looked up and said: "Can you close the door".  WTF!  My answer was: "No fucking way, but I CAN take my business to one of the other 200 convenience stores in the area.

Unfair Review (or: Twenty-One mk. II)

Bach in April I wrote a review of Twenty-One in Changkat Bukit Bintang. The thing is though, that I might have been a little bit too harsh in that review.

My original review was written on the spot as and when it happened and I was fairly annoyed at the time. I still don't like to be cheated and I felt cheated at the time. However, their somewhat peculiar and annoying pricing scheme aside, it is actually a nice place and their lunch deal is at the moment the best in the area bar none.

The price (and indeed the whole menu - hint: I's time for an update) is the same as it was back in April. The cheapest item is Fish & Chips which they offer for RM 8.00 - including a drink (ice lemon tea or a soft drink).  They got an excellent Chicken Sandwich with Pesto for RM 9.00, some good pasta dishes around 10.00 - 12.00 and so on. The service is excellent and all the waiters are attentive and quick.

So all in all - best lunch deal in the Changkat Bukit Bintang area - but be careful with "extras" :)

Update Aug. 12, 2010:

Currently there's some construction going on across the road and it gets unbearably noisy there.  However, the construction workers have their lunch break from 12:00 - 13:00 (that's 1pm for those who can't count longer than 12) so go early :)  Also I spoke to one of the owners who said that the menu will be updated shortly but he promised me not to touch the Pesto Chicken Sandwich.

Why Nokia Will Die

Back in the old days I used to be a big fan of Ericsson phones.  They were not the most sexy to look at but they were solid and the sound and call quality was unsurpassed by anything.  Unfortunately "sexy" sell better than quality - so eventually Ericsson died and had to work with Sony to introduce "sexy" to their product line.  That was the end of the line for me - I absolutely hate Sony with a vengeance (since I bought a bloody expensive Vaio with world wide service only to find myself in Denmark with a broken charger and Sony Denmark refusing to have anything to do with it).  So after Ericsson died I pretty much switched to Nokia and with one exception I have always been reasonably happy with the hardware quality of Nokia products (and before you ask - the exception was the N73 with that silly joystick that broke off all the time).

While their hardware is still reasonable, software is quite a different ball game.  Symbian S40 (the operating system they use in their low end devices) might have been quite adequate and easy to use, but S60 (the OS they use in just about every high end device minus the N900) is quite simply silly compared to everything else - even Windows Mobile or whatever Microsoft call it these days - they change name more often than I change my underwear.

About 1 1/2 years ago I bought a Nokia 5800XM, which compared to the previous N73 was nice.  The software however has gone from horrible (the first version) to almost there (2-3 versions back) to totally broken (the last two versions).  For the first year or so - up until the 50.xxx.xx release, my 5800 was hanging randomly - typically when ending a call.  The whole phone would just freeze.  That problem was finally - after what must have been 4-5 updates before that - fixed in the 50.xxx.xx release.

While the 50.xxx.xx release fixed the random freezes, that release introduced two new bugs.  First of all the battery life went to hell.  Before this release I could charge my Nokia and it would run about 2-3 days (checking email every hour).  With the 50.xxx.xx release that went down to about 24 hours (and NO - I have checked with another battery - it IS a firmware problem!).  Also the OVI store stopped working and haven't worked since.

Now - at word about the OVI store.  Compared to Apple's iTunes and Android's - ahem - is it called Market Place, Nokia's OVI store is basic to say the least and while they do have a few goodies in there, most of the available software is quite useless.  But it is all they've got and if Nokia want to be a player in the high end smart phone market - they have GOT to make it work.

Starting OVI since the 50.xxx.xx firmware release, I have been met with the following screen:

The odd thing is that a a general update of the phone reports NO updates available.  This is the case both when trying the built-in update application or when connecting to a PC and checking the software there.  But OK - if OVI want to update - let it update, so I click update.  It finds an "update" and start the installer:

At this point it downloads the update file:

Which I confirm that I want to install.  The device now discovers that there is already an old version of Ovi Store installed and ask if I want to upgrade:

Excuse me - they are asking me if I want to REPLACE version 1.07(12) with - ahem - version 1.07(12).  Well, I have tried to Cancel which result in the same thing all over again, so I got no option but to choose OK and go on.

The installation itself seems to be in two parts - first it starts installing and that seems to go OK:

Then at this point it seems to start a second installation of something (no - it doesn't inform me what it is) and that always ends with the following:

And now it all starts over again.  If I enter the OVI Store application it insist that it needs an update, and ...............

Today, about an hour ago, I discovered that there was a new complete firmware update for my Nokia 5800.  I updated immediately and it went smooth.  The device now reports:

However - while this version is supposed to include a complete update of all the OVI applications, it's still the same.  In fact - since I already updated - all the above screen shots are made with this new version.

Now, Nokia have sold millions of the 5800 (in fact I believe it's their most popular device ever) and I am NOT the only one with this problem.  A Google search on "nokia 5800 ovi store update error" result in thousands of hits - many of those are directly on Nokia's support forum.  I haven't read a single reply from Nokia staff and I have not seen a single suggestion on how to fix this problem.  So, me and thousands of other Nokia 5800 users are unable to use the Ovi Store and Nokia does not seem to be interested in solving the problem at all.

Getting Better and Better

The ongoing sodomy farce is getting better and better.

Apparently the court does not think that an affair between the prosecutor and the key witness has got any relevance whatsoever - and it is indeed (according to this article) a private affair.  Ahem - excuse me - but isn't this whole case actually about a private affair then?

The article ends quoting Karpal Singh (Anwar's defense lawyer): "Never before in this country has such an application to strike out a charge on the basis of an affair between the prosecutor and a star witness been filed".  No - you can say that again - in fact - I don't think that is common in any country, but then again - the case itself is quite unique too :)

Brussels Beer Cafe

I have noticed lately that a number of Belgian bars/restaurants/cafes have started opening in Kuala Lumpur and I have quite often wondered why.

I AM European and as all Europeans I have some fairly rigid and inflexible ideas about the different countries.  The Italians might be kind of rude, but they make great food and they are a friendly bunch, the French are arrogant but it's a beautiful country and the wine and food is awesome, the Brits are always polite but not overly friendly and they couldn't cook to save their own lives, the Germs might be a bit boring but they serve a mean sausage and boy they do know how to drink beer and put together a solid car - and so on (and of course these ideas are wrong as often as they are right).

The thing is - when I think of Belgium I come up with - well - blank more or less.  Sure I heard they claim to have invited the potato chips and Tintin was from Belgium.  But to me Belgium has always just been a country I drove through on my way to France, enjoying the fact that all their highways are lid up like a Christmas tree.

My only real experience with Belgian beer was back in the late 80's where there was a beer strike in Denmark and all the Danish brands were unavailable.  That summer we drank a lot of German and Belgian beer - and they were all utterly rubbish.  I remember a brand called TV and we used to joke that they managed to make a beer that was thinner than water.

So as you can imagine I really don't understand why these places are here in the first place, but well - passing one around dinner time I figured I was in dire need of some PORK, so I decided to give the place a shot.

The place is right next to a very busy road so it's quite noisy.  They have however made some attempts to make it nice even though it doesn't quite mask the noise from the road.



My first problem was the beer.  I am really not into German beer and Belgian beer even less, but they did have Tetley's Ale on the menu and I couldn't really ask for a soft drink in a place like that, so I ordered half a pint of that.  This was the result:



I swear, this is how it was served, and I am sorry guys but that is truly offensive in a place that evolves around serving beer.  First of all I am sure that glass does not contain half a pint even if filled to the brim, it is probably a Malaysian half pint which relates the pint as Malaysian inches to the inch (read: much much smaller).  I asked 3 waiters if they were serious calling that half a pint and they all said: Yes!  Brussels Cafe's own website say on the front page: "Ich will beer" which they translate (since they obviously assume their customers are morons - and why German in the first place - less than 1 % of the Belgian population speak German as a first language) to: "I want beer" and that is exactly how I felt - "Ik wil bier" or "Je veux de la bière" not an empty glass (oh and apologies to Dutch, French or indeed Belgian readers if I got one or both of these wrong but I don't market myself as a Belgian cafe).

The food offerings were reasonable.  I ordered a foot long (Malaysian foot I am sure) sausage with chips (had to have chips in a Belgian restaurant) which was served without mayonnaise (I had to ask) and it was OK without being something I would dream about (I guess the Germs are just better as sausages).  My partner in crime ordered Brussels Chicken & Stoemp and that really was quite good.

Needless to say I gulped down the tiny Tetley's quite quickly and ordered a "bottled Tuborg" to follow (at least they can't cheat with the size of bottled beer).  After a long time the waiter arrived with two new Tetley's and I had to explain to him I said: "Tuborg" not "Two more" (I even said: "Bottled Tuborg" when I ordered).  Unfortunately I think the waiter had taken offense at me, so the bottled Tuborg didn't arrive until I was done eating.  I asked for a glass and that simply never arrived - until I went to fetch it myself.

On their website they write:

"In Brussels Beer Café, our staffs play the important piece. We can have the best food and promotions but without the right staff to make it all happen, it unravels pretty quickly. The staff at Brussels, with their genuine personality, it makes dining fun and delightful!"

I couldn't agree with you more.  Without the right staff it unravels extremely fast - and this evening the staff was slow and not paying attention at all.

By the time we got the bill, here is what that looked like:



Excuse me - 50 cent for a glass of tap water.  Fuck you too!  That is simply not acceptable. I checked their menu (which had never been cleared off the table) - and well yes - it was there:



I just wish I had seen this before I ordered my meal.  You just KNOW you're in trouble when they charge for plain water and put it in the menu.

To sum this up I reckon the food was the best part, not fantastic but reasonable.  But the service and concept was utter rubbish.  Once again let me quote their website as saying:

"And finally, the last part of the picture is the guest. Whether they stop in for a quiet pint, some lunch, or to gather with friends for a crazy fun night, it is the loyal Brussels’ customer that contributes most of the magic to the Belgium pub.The goal of Brussels Beer Café and its staff is to strive to bring you the best that Belgian culture has to offer, without you having to look for your passport. With great food, many tantalizing choices of beer, a relax ambience and excellent service; will bring you back again and again."

I am sorry to say you got it all mangled up.  Even if the service had been excellent (which it wasn't) and the ambiAnce had been relaxED (which it wasn't - the waiters most certainly was doing their best to create a relaxed ambiance - extremely relaxed) I wouldn't come back.  I wouldn't come back because you market yourselves as someone who's heart and soul is beer and then you have the bloody nerve to sell me a quarter of a pint of Tetley's and you are so stingy that you charge your customers money for tap water.  THAT is why I won't come back!

Stingy Pricks

According to Nokia, they made more than half a billion in profit in Q2 2010.

With that in mind, this comes as a bit of a surprise:

Let me get my head around this.  They make more than half a billion USD and they can't spend a few hundred updating the security certificate on their support site?  Perhaps they just didn't discover this even though it's been expired for more than a month or perhaps support is simply not very important to them.

Hmmm - I think I'll click: "Get me out of here!"

Temple demo- Residents march with cow's head

This is somewhat amusing in a sad way. This thing have caused quite a stir in Malaysia everybody complaining about how offensive it is.



But honestly, offensive to who? Granted, the cow could have gotten a somewhat more dignified treatment, but seriously - these people just make an absolute fool out of themselves and they do it in full public view.

As far as I am concerned all this video show is a bunch of morons kicking around dinner (I am sure they all go to McD and I am equally sure that much of the meat from cow heads goes into their burgers).

Malaysia Today had a pretty good report